Healing From a Dysfunctional Southern Family Through Art

Jeanine Wiggins was born in Jacksonville, FL where she lived most of her childhood. 

In 1981, she moved to South Florida where she attended two gifted programs. In 1981 she attended the Center for the Expressive Arts.   The following year, she attended The Performing and Visual Arts Center, which was a very competitive program that evolved into an Arts high school.  She graduated from the University of Florida with a Bachelors of Fine Art.  She’s been in several shows over the years and has had two one-person shows, all in Florida. She was also nominated and accepted into Who’s Who of American Women.

Through all of her successes, she suffered from hypo-mania and PTSD, which was not accurately diagnosed until 2010 with her current psychiatrist, who also helped her to get disability.

“I can’t handle stress anymore and my memory is horrible. But, the trauma I suffered as a child and young woman may also have created the situation where I hid in my room when not at school and just drew, read and day dreamed with the company of my clock radio. I knew if I could get through high school and go to college, I could escape my insane mother, brother and vindictive, drug addict sister who dropped out of school in the eighth grade because she was doing a lot of drugs, especially Quaaludes. The art programs also saved my life. They kept me in school.

Through my faith in a creator, my artwork and journaling, I’ve been able to move past the fear and anger I felt growing up and then the anger towards myself for stupid choices (like marrying my ex-husband who was abusive in every way, except actually hitting me).

When I truly forgave everyone for everything, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. I’m much more at peace now. But my fight or flight mode is shot. To much stress sending me into tremors from anxiety. I also spend a lot of time alone, which is also a symptom of PTSD. But also it’s just what an artist does.

I continue to paint and write. My heart still feels heavy sometimes, but I keep trying to move past it. Slowly, I believe I’m making progress.”

— J.W.

Portraits of Inner Meaning

What does ToBeReal mean to you?

ToBeReal means being able to reach outside my boundaries for the sake of personal growth and expression. Art has always been a way for me to portray my feelings when words would escape me. I have a lot of anxiety issues, so being able to fully express myself in words is more often than not very confusing for not only those around me but myself. It's scary when even you do not understand what is happening. When I think of an idea, I strive to be real with myself and include all of the details that represent how I am feeling. 

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ART BY NICOLE LINSMEIER

Take Back The Night

In Take Back The Night, though I was more aiming this piece for a friend of mine than myself, I still put my own experiences of anxiety and depression into it to give her something that represents hope. So many men and woman are sexually assaulted throughout the world, my friend included. She didn't handle it very well at first, and I understand all too well what its like to feel overwhelmed. I do also understand that art for me is a way to express myself so I wanted to give her something to inspire her to find her own inner peace. Take back the night stands for not only my friend but all of those people who suffer victim to sexual assault. That situation will never define you, but make you stronger.  

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Anxiety

I chose this piece as an abstract self portrait. There is a bold rush of colors that swim across the page in an overwhelming yet beautiful way. The broken glasses show an anxious eye behind them, while on the other side of the glasses you see a landscape.  I have suffered from severe anxiety for many years, and art is the only thing that has kept me going through the pain. Sometimes, it would be difficult for me to even leave the house. I dreamt of being able to sit outside and gaze at a landscape without worrying about a single thing. This picture shows how those with anxiety would like to see the world, but underneath the glasses there is a lot of suffering. 

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Check out Nicole's photography on Facebook.

People fear art because they think there are certain criteria that make art worth looking at. The truth is, it's about the story and what you are trying to say. My art is not perfect, but it is me. It represents how I feel and my stance on ToBeReal. I am attending Seton Hill University to get my masters degree in Art therapy, so I can show people that art is nothing to fear, but the very thing that can save so many lives.