Illustrations of Emotions and Memory

“I have dealt with anxiety and depression from a young age. My illustrations have provided me with an outlet to express the emotions and memories that accompany these feelings. I feel that I’ve been able to find a sense of humor in my drawings despite their sometimes dark content. ”

— Cara Luddy

Cara obtained a B.F.A. in Illustration from Syracuse university and is currently working as a freelance illustrator.   

Learn more about Cara!

Website: caraluddy.com

Blog: caraluddy.tumblr.com

Store: caraluddy.storenvy.com

Art and A Narrative About Trichotillomania

Valerie’s experience with trichotillomania.

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Drift Into A World Of Ecstasy, 2009

Acrylic on Cotton Fabric, 48 x 52 

I started pulling my hair out when I was 12. I didn’t reach out to anybody until I was 24.  I closed myself in.  The older I got the worse it got.  When I first started pulling it was only a few eyelashes and eyebrows. I was in middle school at the time and I would make up stories whenever anybody questioned my bare spots.

The worst part of my life was when we moved from Vermont back to New Jersey.  It was the summer before my junior year of high school. My pulling spread to my entire head.

I had long thick hair so it wasn’t noticeable, at first. But after a year it started to show.  I was made fun of almost every day during my senior year of high school.  I didn’t want to tell anybody that I was pulling my hair out because I thought they would think I was crazy and I’d be locked in a psychiatric hospital.   Somehow I made it through high school and thought I wanted to be a pastry chef.

My pulling was worsening.  I didn’t know that it was an anxiety disorder.  I didn’t know anything about it.  I just knew I was pulling my hair out, it felt good, and I couldn’t stop it on my own. I literally thought I was the only person in the world pulling their hair out.  When I was 22, one night I Googled “hair pulling,” and I came across websites about Trich.  It was mostly negative and about it being a lifelong disorder.  I rejected this and continued to isolate myself, thinking I could overcome this on my own. 

When I was 24 I was studying for my BFA and I started feeling sick all the time.  I spent a lot of time with my general doctor and was not gaining any insight about what was going on.  It was at that point that I realized that I was making myself physically sick.  That is when I went to the counseling center at school.  That was the hardest thing I have ever done.  I was in a dark place; I didn’t want to live.  I wasn’t going to kill myself but I wanted to disappear.  I was thankful that I pushed myself and stayed in the waiting room until someone approached me.  When they started to ask me questions I had a panic attack and started crying.  When I stopped I told the counselor I was pulling my hair out.  She told me about Trich and helped me learn about anxiety and how it was affecting me.  It was helpful to know that every week I would go and visit with somebody who understood what I was going through and could help me develop new insights into some of the anxiety I regularly experienced. 

It was at this time I realized that I could channel this energy into my work and obtain a healthier version of release.  Painting is therapeutic and therefore very personal. My paintings are an exploration of color and material interaction, driven by mood. Painting makes me happy, and I don’t feel like I have Trich when I’m working. Since this disorder affects my physical image I do my best to not look like I have Trich when I’m in public. Most have no idea of the struggles associated with Trich. I’m on a mission to educate the world about the disorder from a positive prospective through my artwork.

Read more about Valerie here.

Portraits of Inner Meaning

What does ToBeReal mean to you?

ToBeReal means being able to reach outside my boundaries for the sake of personal growth and expression. Art has always been a way for me to portray my feelings when words would escape me. I have a lot of anxiety issues, so being able to fully express myself in words is more often than not very confusing for not only those around me but myself. It's scary when even you do not understand what is happening. When I think of an idea, I strive to be real with myself and include all of the details that represent how I am feeling. 

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ART BY NICOLE LINSMEIER

Take Back The Night

In Take Back The Night, though I was more aiming this piece for a friend of mine than myself, I still put my own experiences of anxiety and depression into it to give her something that represents hope. So many men and woman are sexually assaulted throughout the world, my friend included. She didn't handle it very well at first, and I understand all too well what its like to feel overwhelmed. I do also understand that art for me is a way to express myself so I wanted to give her something to inspire her to find her own inner peace. Take back the night stands for not only my friend but all of those people who suffer victim to sexual assault. That situation will never define you, but make you stronger.  

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Anxiety

I chose this piece as an abstract self portrait. There is a bold rush of colors that swim across the page in an overwhelming yet beautiful way. The broken glasses show an anxious eye behind them, while on the other side of the glasses you see a landscape.  I have suffered from severe anxiety for many years, and art is the only thing that has kept me going through the pain. Sometimes, it would be difficult for me to even leave the house. I dreamt of being able to sit outside and gaze at a landscape without worrying about a single thing. This picture shows how those with anxiety would like to see the world, but underneath the glasses there is a lot of suffering. 

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Check out Nicole's photography on Facebook.

People fear art because they think there are certain criteria that make art worth looking at. The truth is, it's about the story and what you are trying to say. My art is not perfect, but it is me. It represents how I feel and my stance on ToBeReal. I am attending Seton Hill University to get my masters degree in Art therapy, so I can show people that art is nothing to fear, but the very thing that can save so many lives. 

Visual Expressions of the Self by Terrence Kelly

“Painting is an outlet where I can visually express my inner self. It helps me cope with depression and anxiety by focusing my mind and therefore allowing me to relax as I apply the brushstrokes. Additionally, I also feel a sense of accomplishment and pride after finishing a project. The entire process promotes my recovery by reinforces my strengths and mental health.”

— Terrence Kelly

Brother by Terrence Kelley

Terrence Kelly is a graduate of the Art Institute of Pittsburgh.  He has struggled with depression, anxiety and Schizoaffective Disorder for most of his life.  He currently works as a peer-support advocate for a drop in center. 

Automatic Thoughts and Disquieting Life Experiences

Art by Steve Essery

Untitled Watercolor by Steve Essery  

The dragon represents negative automatic thoughts and the compelling functions they often serve. 

Untitled Watercolor and Accrylic piece by Steve Essery.

The wrecking ball represents depression and the ways in which the external world triggers mood instability.   In this sense, creating distance between others is a mechanism of obtaining control over one’s emotional experience.

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About Steve

Steve is an artist based out of Orange County, California.  He has studied with Marge Hyde, Fred Tomaselli, and Bruce Dragoo.  He uses art to calculate answers to life's emotional and logical questions in order to reinforce a sense of mental health. 

The Digital and Physical Gap

Max R. Rosenabaum 

“Most of my work is created in a way similar to the construction of a mandala. I start from the center and grow outwards, reflecting on the previous step and questioning which step comes next, as a series of events that unfold ad infinitum . The materials I incorporate into my art always have a relation to tactility, integrating the physical qualities that each material possesses, the viscosity of silicone, or the rigidity and chalkiness of plaster. The choice in materials adds the urge to not only look at the work but experience it phenomenologically, through touch. My intent is to merge the gap between digital and physical, and for my work titled Our Relationship, I incorporated a lenticular print in the center to give a similar effect that a gif can bring to the artwork. This lenticular print, which is placed inside a paper machè structure, is trapped by the black silicone engulfing the piece. The relationship I am referencing in the tittle of this piece is the one we have with ourselves. Everyone has that inner voice of anxieties that tell them the opposite of what they need to hear, some voices are louder than others. My anxieties try to hinder my life, but by incorporating them into my artwork, and acknowledging their existence through my process, I have been able to objectively distance myself from my insecurities and succeed.”

Our Relationship by Max R. Rosenabum